Play by Play - Game 5 ALCS

And it begins. Game 5 of the ALCS, Cleveland - Boston.

Fox pre-game:

First of all, I have no use for Jeanne Zelasko. She might as well be on the field blowing Derek Jeter. Is she responsible for the lead story in the pre-game show being Joe Torre turning down the Yankees? I know, I know, Torre is a big story, but is it the LEAD STORY when there is a Game 5 being played? I don't think so.

- For the record, I think Torre turning the Yanks down is a classy move (not surprising coming from Joe) but the Yankees offer was a joke, they knew he would turn it down and now that he has they will hire some suck ass manager that won't even get them back to the playoffs...OK with me.

Eric Karros called Matt Holliday of the Rockies DUDE while interviewing him, ahhhh I love Fox, YAWN!

Jeanne's final thought - "The Boston Red Sox just 27 outs away from elimination."

However, Fox may have just redeemed themselves for EVERY crime they've ever committed against Red Sox Nation - A package with Kevin Millah dude...pumping up Red Sox Nation...YA DUDE!! I love that. Kevin Millar we miss you man. If you were in the clubhouse the believe signs would be out in force. God bless you and your sorry excuse for a baseball team.

Game time - (in sarcastic radio announcer guy voice) Let's send it out to the Jake for Tim McCarver and Joe Buck...guys.

Bobby Kielty doing the starting line-ups, he has slightly more personality then Youk who did it on Tuesday night. Thank God Kielty is in there, but still no sign of Jacoby, that's EXHAUSTING!!!

YOUK HITS A BOMB!!! WHAT!!! Now if this game was being played in the Bean chants of "Ceeee Ceeee" would be starting already...MAKE IT HAPPEN BABY!!!

Joe Buck informs us that the last 9 runs for the Sox have come on home runs. Not a bad stat, although I am sure some pre-teen intern fed him that stat.

Papi strikes out and Manny gets booed, but what difference does it make, there's always next year. Right Manny? He doesn't have much in the way of tact when speaking to the media, but Manny sure can hit and in the 1st tonight he has a double. Lowell singles, Manny tries to score and is thrown out at the plate. I sure hope that's not indicitive of how the night is going to go.

Sox 1 Indians 0

Casey Blake doing the line-ups for Cleveland. He's got some personality, at least he did some nicknames for his teamates. Nicknames which Joe Buck just tried to repeat, too bad he had his mouth full...hey Joe, dust off your knees.

Ok, they just showed Manny getting thrown out at the plate again, WHY DIDN'T HE SLIDE? If he slides, they don't get him. Manny being Manny...YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWNNN!!!

1st and 3rd nobody out for Cleveland, I'm missing Survivor for this?

Double play ball and the runner scores, tied up 1-1.

Beckett looks strong, but gets beaten up a bit in the first inning and shocking the music Fox plays is Cleveland Rocks (the ONLY song ever written about Cleveland.) Boy, at the end of this series Ian Hunter and the Rant Band are going to be LOADED from royalty checks.

Red Sox 1 Indians 1 - after one

Commercial for the Samsung Juke - looks like a cool phone, not IPhone cool, but cool enough for the financially challenged like me to purchase. It would certainly be better then my Zach Morris phone.

Here's the first mention of Jacoby Ellsbury, you know how I feel, WHERE IS HE? Red Sox centerfielder of the future according to McCarver and Buck (from here on out referred to as BM for more reasons then I can count.) According to me, PUT HIM IN NOW!!!

Varitek hit by a pitch. Boy the way Coco has been hitting this postseason it's a good thing we have someone on base for when he strikes out.

(inside Coco's head) Let me just wiggle my hands a little more then usual, that's probably the reason I haven't been hitting...ya, that's it.

Strikes out looking - SHOCKING!!!

Lugo flies out - SHOCKING!!!

Sox 1 Indians 1 - middle of 2nd

Beckett gets the first two outs no problem and then throws at Gutierrez's head with a 95 mph fastball. I'll admit if that was CC throwing at a member of the nation, I'd be pissed, but since it's Beckett throwing at the Tribe, I'll say YA DUDE!!!

Casey Blake strikes out to end the inning - Sox 1 Indians 1 - end of the 2nd

I love Dustin Perdroia. I love how he is defiant when people ask him why he's been struggling. I love that he swings like every pitch is the last one he'll see and I love that he poked a single into right field to start the 3rd.

Does Youk take a shower before he hits into double plays? He's got sweat or something dripping off the bill of his helmet. When you lead off the game with a homerun, we'll cut you some slack when you hit into a DP.

Ok...Mark Shapiro is pronounced Shapiero? I don't get it. Shouldn't it be Shapeero?

Woah did Sabathia just hit 99? Damn that guy throws hard. I never can figure out how these guys can catch up to those. Must be the roids. 99 mph or not, he just walked Papi.

Manny hits a bomb. Now there's a debate as to whether or not it was out. McCarver thinks it hit the yellow line, I know your shocked. Umpires are debating. And they call it against the Sox...no homerun. Manny is now at first instead of second. I gotta agree with BM that Manny should've kept on running. So now Manny is on first instead of second...Manny bei...I can't even bring myself to say it again. UGH!!!

That play/call could come back to bite the Sox in the ass. Well, I guess there's always next year.

Lowell strikes out with Manny on 1st...should be 3-1, but that's not how the cookie crumbles this time...Sox 2 Indians 1 - middle of the 3rd.

The commercial has me wondering what Yankees fans are doing right now...oh right, SLEEPING!!!

3 up and 3 down for Beckett - Sox 2 Indians 1 - after 3

Hey Kielty's in the line-up, look at that he got a hit, hey Tito look what happens when you switch up the line-up...WHERE'S J-BURY?

Base hit for Tek and we're in business for...oh God no...not Coco...really? Can't we get my six year old nephew, he swings the bat very well, sees the ball, Cooper all you need to do is make contact buddy, go get 'em. Coco can't even lay down a bunt, this is PAINFUL. Unbelieveable...Coco can't get the bunt down...my head hurts. STRIKE 3, this is laughable.

This just in...CRISP AND LUGO SUCK!!! If you don't laugh at it you'll go insane, although I'm two seconds away from throwing myself in front of the fastest moving car I can find. Two on, nobody out and what do Crisp and Lugo do, strike out and hit into a DP. Unreal.

Sox 2 Indians 1 - mid 4th

3 up and 3 down for Beckett - Sox 2 Indians 1 - after 4

American Band is coming. Look out, the next Jethro Tull is only days away. Fox - We can even find talent in Galchutt, North Dakota.

I am excited that the promo for Fox NFL Sunday is talking about how the "analysts" are going to tell everyone why the Pats O is the best EVER...no need to tell me, I already know, but if you want to tell Peyton, I'm ok with that.

Good play on a Pedroia rocket to short - 1 down
Youk grounds out - 2 down

Papi squared around to bunt...is that for real? We'll see. Um, I didn't think so. Imagine, the Red Sox score on a Ortiz bunt, well he doesn't bunt hits it the opposite way for a single...here's Manny who has a double and a home ru...oh wait, a single. Papi to second on a wild pitch, 3-2 to Manny and he walks.

Lowell hits a shot into left field that goes just fowl - literally inches and instead of it being 4-1 the count stays at 1-2. Lowell gets hit to load the bases and here comes Kielty. Let's do some damage before Coco and Lugo get anywhere near a bat. Kielty flies out; Sox 2 Indians 1 - mid 5th.

Sidebar: Those white towels are SO ANNOYING. I imagine it's probably pretty tough to see the ball for anyone on the field when they are swinging those stupid things around. I know it looks cool from the sky, but that's the ONLY cool thing about them. Whatever happened to the wave or a good solid chant, aparently Indians fans need props to show their support.

McCarver is now talking about the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame, which gets me thinking, what's in his 8 track player. My guess, New York, New York and Cleveland Rocks, but that's just a stab at it.

Lofton flies out. Benches clear - HOLLER!!! Nothing really happened, but I love how fired up Beckett gets, he kicks ass. I can't really say anything bad about Lofton, but still the only thing he's really gonna do when faced with a fight with Beckett is RUN, I mean, he is fast.

Base hit for Blake with 2 outs. Base hit for Sizemore up the middle, should've been an out, but oh by the way LUGO STINKS!!! 1st and 3rd, 2 outs. Beckett gets a strike out to get out of a jam.

Sox 2 Indians 1 - end of 5th

So I think I'll take a break from writing for the top of the 6th, we have Tek (who may or may not get a hit) and then Coco and Lugo...I'll get a cold one and be back for the bottom of the 6th.

SHOCKING - 1-2-3 -- Sox 2 Indians 1 - bot 6

OH MY GOD - McCarver can't get any stats right. Last inning, Beckett has retired 6 in a row, no 10 in row, sorry that stat is 9 in a row. This inning, Beckett throwing only 63 pitches, oh sorry 73 pitches...time to retire Timmy.

1-2-3 on the 9th strikeout for Beckett, I believe that stat, because Joe Buck said it and McCarver agreed (that sealed the deal for me)

Sox 2 Indians 1 - end of 6th

Lead off double for Pedroia - thank God he has come around in this game. He has hit the ball hard all game. Need a big inning here, this is the time to build the cushion and feel a little more comfortable. YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUK!!!! Triple into center, scores Pedroia and we're up 3-1.

This call to the bullpen brought to you by Wicked Pissa Dude.com - Wicked Pissa Dude.com - Fuckin A' Dude.

Sac fly for Papi - 4-1 - Manny and Lowell strike out, inning over -- Sox 4 Indians 1 - middle of 7th.

Gotta love the Bud Light Opera commercial. Thankfully wifey isn't into the opera and even if she was we live in Vermont the closest thing we have to the opera up here is a fat redneck with armpit hair singing Redneck Woman at the local karoke bar.

Amazing play by Lowell to get the first out of the inning.

And here it is...the story about how the girl that was supposed to sing the National Anthem used to date Beckett which allowed them to get a Britney/K-Fed reference in. Ah what good would a baseball game be without a Brit/K-Fed reference. Man, last time the Red Sox were in the ALCS at least Britney Spears hadn't go completely crazy, well except that whole thing about marrying K-Fed.

Beckett with an error and Lofton gets on - BASE STEALING THREAT - YIKES.

YA DUDE - Fly out - 2 down. Strike out #10 for Mr. Beckett - inning over. Sox 4 Indians 1 - end of 7.

Oh Yipee, look ma' it's J.D. Drew. I was really hoping to see him come to the plate tonight. What could go wrong with J.D., Coco and Lugo coming up in the 8th...Thank God that there's no way for you to lose runs when your hitting.

And here's the debate - let it begin - should Ellsbury play in Game 6, if there is one? YES. YES. YES. Coco is 0-10, you can't do worse then that, what does it hurt. Bring him in...I'm Exhausted!!!

YES...they're showing Pap doing the YMCA in between innings. I love him. Tek flies out. Now I wonder which Village Person Pap would be? I guess I'd have to go with the cop because he is always handcuffing guys...WHAT!!?!??!?!

This just in, Coco hit into ANOTHER double play. Lucky for him, the Indians made an error. Better get Ellsbury in there to pinch run for Coco, I'm not sure he remembers how to run the bases.

Oh my God, what is happening, the bottom of the order has the bases loaded. A bunt single for Lugo. We're in business in the 8th with 1 out.

This call to the bullpen brought to you by - Ya Dude - SUCK OFF!!!

Pass ball - runner scores - 5-1 Sox on top - runners on 2nd and 3rd. Pedroia walks and the bases are juiced again.

Red Sox Nation makes their weak voice heard at the Jake.

Youk walks - run scores - 6-1 - Sac fly for Papi - 7-1 - Manny strikes out and I think Fox played Dirty Water, of course when they play Cleveland Rocks it's all you can hear, but when they play Dirty Water they keep those crowd mics turned up nice and loud so you can't hear it. F-THEM. Hahaha...we're winning and I still hate Fox.

Sox 7 Indians 1 - middle of 8

OMG, Jacoby Ellsbury is in left? You took MANNY out for Ellsbury??? Ya good idea. Let's keep Coco in the game. I mean we don't want to lose his bat in the line-up in the top of the 9th. I realize Manny needs his beauty rest, but make him play the 8th and then bring in Jacoby to get an at bat in the top of the 9th. I'm no manager, but come on Tito.

Ok, I'll stop. We're up 6 and in command thus far, I can't bitch.

11 strikeouts for Beckett, which ties his postseason strikeout record. He kind of looks bored on the mound, like he could care less, he knows he's going to over power these hitters. It's almost like he's saying in his head, "when is this game going to be over, there's only so much of the city of Cleveland I can take." I'm with you buddy, let's get back to the Bean.

After 8 it's Sox 7 Indians 1.

Highlight in the top of the 9th - J.D. Drew actually got a hit and it was a double. Guess who made the final out of the 9th...no you'll never guess COCO!!!! HE SUCKS!!!

Pap will probably be in for the 9th inning, no save in play, but we need to get him so work as he hasn't pitched since game 2. Oooo nice package of JP from Fox coming back from the break. Give 'em that death stare Jonathon.

1 Down

YA DUDE - they showed the dance. Pap on Dancing with the Stars - McCarver actually said something funny.



A shot to center...Coco going back and he mis-played the ball. There's nothing more I can say about Coco.

2 Down

Fly out. GAME OVER.

Final Score: Sox 7 Indians 1

Nothing more to say. A win is a win is a win...we're going back to Boston. Stay tuned Nation.

- Adam